When we talk about BDSM or people refer to it, it is usually related to whips and handcuffs thanks to the movie “50 Shades of Gray”. A somewhat simplified vision since it may seem that it is a single type of practice but in reality there are four different types of sexual relations or disciplines of sexual themes . This category that encompasses them has four letters, one letter for each one of them.

What is BDSM: What does BDSM mean?

The word bdsm is actually a compilation of words, each of which refers to a type of practice. The B comes from bondage, the D for domination as the opposite of submission, the S for sadism and the M for masochism . If you want to be clear from now on what each of these bdsm practices consists of, we have prepared this article for you so that you know all the secrets about pleasure and sex, if on the contrary you already know it and what you are looking for are products here we have different items to practice bdsm.

BDSM practices: How to distinguish them

Bondage

This word comes from the English word “bond” which means chain or tie . It is about paralyzing the upper or lower extremities or both, our partner or being paralyzed.

It comes from a Japanese custom that consisted of tying prisoners of war with ropes, a cheap way to hold the soldiers of the other side, since it was much cheaper than immobilizing them with chains or other metal objects. Well, little by little this practice of making simple knots became more sophisticated until it ended up in authentic filigrees that Japanese artists exhibited in salons and theaters. Later this technique ended up leading to “Shibari”, a bondage practice for erotic purposes.

When this technique reached Europe and the rest of the world, the material to tie the arms and / or legs was diversified, and the people who practiced it began to use fabrics since they were much softer and more delicate with the skin. And since metal is much cheaper in European countries, handcuffs and chains also began to be used, giving rise to bondage as we know it now. In addition, with leather or plastic objects, the jaws can even be immobilized, blocking the possibility of speaking, thanks to the use of clamps.

What complements or accessories do you need? Apart from the objects to paralyze, some type of accessory is also necessary to infringe the punishment . For example, whips, whips or paddles, since bondage is often used to interpret role-playing games where the tied person agrees to be punished and the person who ties up is the one who corrects or infringes the punishment with greater or lesser intensity according to the pleasure of the people who participate. of this bdsm practice.

In this type of practice, the type of ties that are made must be taken into account, as well as the pressure with which each of the knots is pressed, because if they are too tight they can cause discomfort or prevent it from being untied in case of the other member of the couple fell or something happened. In the same way, we must remember to leave things as important as water bottles or other objects that we can use close by, to avoid leaving our partner tied up alone for the shortest possible time. Once these things are taken into account, you can start with caresses and penetration in the way that you like to have sex or have relationships beyond bdsm games.

Domination versus Submission

In this case, although there is also a role play «the dominant» and «the submissive», unlike bondage, it is not limited only to the physical aspect of punishment on the body or immobilization, but it has a psychological aspect that even it outweighs the mere physical factor . Domination can go beyond whipping, binding, and spanking. In this type of practice, what is exciting for the dominant is to know that he has control over the other person and for the submissive to know that power can be exercised over him and he can be dominated and even humiliated. The excitement comes from being nullified and being at their mercy without being able to decide. That is why we said that in this type of practice the psychological aspect is superior to other bdsm games.

Although in ancient cultures such as the Greek, Etruscan or Indian texts and drawings appear where this type of sexual game was represented, it was in the 18th century when it became popular when women offered themselves in brothels to dominate men. Culturally, women of all social classes were very controlled by men for this reason for some of them it was very sexy and morbid that a woman would adopt a position superior to theirs. As well as very sexually exciting to feel inferior and dominated by them.

Sadism

What is sadism? The name of this type of practice comes from the Marquis de Sade, a writer in whose erotic novels the characters inflict pain on others during sexual games. Although his books were very well sold and had great success, the Marquis was branded cruel and sick, he was even imprisoned and considered insane. For this reason, these bdsm practices, although they became famous all over the world, began to be considered by everyone as something insane within the couple and for centuries they were frowned upon as they were considered as belonging to unhealthy minds.

Although for many people these types of practices are still considered cruel, we must not forget that they are carried out between two adults who agree, one sadistic and the other masoch, so it gives pleasure to both members of the couple.Similar to submission-domination games but here the emphasis is on inflicting pain to a greater or lesser extent during the sexual encounter.

Masochism

Another bdsm game out there is masochism, what does this word mean? It is a term that comes from a well-known novelist in his time Leopold von Sacher-Masoch whose main character, from his best-known work, humiliates and causes physical pain to his partner, since he enjoys such punishments. Thus, the perfect couple is created, sadomasochistic, where one enjoys inflicting pain and humiliation and the other feels pleasure receiving it .

Considered by Sigmund Freud himself as games that only had a place in deranged and neurotic people, like the rest of bdsm relationships, until just two decades ago they were considered typical of a psychological disorder by doctors and psychiatrists.

Currently in masochistic games, as in other bdsm disciplines, everyone usually relives situations from childhood or adolescence, when they were punished by their parents or at school. Or they can be based on the desire to purge with punishment some act of which they feel guilty.

What is BDSM and how to practice it?

As we have seen, it is a set of games where excitement is achieved through control and domination, disciplines that were not well viewed, are now perceived as fun erotic games with a high visual component. This is mainly due to two factors, the first of which is that they are very disconnected from real physical pain and the second is the current more open vision of sex. For many it is an opportunity to play the role of dominated or submissive dressed in a very sexy way in leather and black vinyl. Wearing a multitude of accessories … there is the corset, high-heeled boots, there is also the mask, the necklaces with metal inlays, among a long list of accessories.

On the other hand, thanks to scientific studies, it is known that with these practices there is a large amount of endorphins in our neurons during their development, so our brain feels pleasant sensations. So now it is understood that people take pleasure in these practices and are no longer seen as people with some type of mental disorder. And it is chemically endorphins are closely related to morphine and they are the culprits that bdsm games can become so interesting.

What should we take into account before starting? It is very important that the couple establish a keyword before the game. What is a keyword? This word will work as a password, as a key between them to warn the submissive to the dominant that the punishment is exceeding the desired pain threshold and that it should be stopped.It may be that during the game between excitement and morbid some “stop”, “no” or something similar escapes that may indicate to the one who infringes the punishment that he must stop. To avoid confusion, it is best to put an arbitrarily chosen word between the two members of the couple to avoid misunderstandings. A color, the name of a city … Something not very far-fetched that does not make much sense to say it during the act. This will be a simple way to avoid that either of the two members is injured or injured during bdsm practices, always playing without jumping our tastes and without ignoring the conditions that are being established.

Very important in BDSM games: How to do it right

What happens after bdsm practices, the so-called “after care”, is equal to or more important than the sexual game itself. How are the after care performed? Aftercare can range from cuddling and cuddling to just talking for 5 or 10 minutes with the person you’ve shared this experience with.It is a magical moment and full of pleasure if it has been done well, little by little and respecting the other person and if it has been in this way your brains will be overflowing with endorphins, as we discussed earlier. During those moments it is important to comment and you will relive the moment lived, so if the person with whom you are going to carry out this type of practice does not plan to spend those minutes with you, then this person is probably not the most suitable for this type of game. What else should you consider? Another part that must be taken into account in bdsm sex is to establish all the limits that are important to you and that can make you feel uncomfortable or are humiliating.

As you may have seen, these disciplines (bondage, domination-submission, masochism and sadism) are closely linked to each other, which is why on many occasions they are included in the same bdsm category, but there are enough differences between them for all of us to consider them as completely independent practices. With very different traits and no common origins, it is clear that it is important for those who practice them not to get confused regardless of where in the world they are performed.

Released after the success of the “Fifty Shades of Gray” saga of films and novels and we hope that today you have been able to get to know them a little more about bdsm, enough for some of them to attract your attention and you decide to try it or try it without fear and without taboos in your relationships during sex if they excite you or seem funny to you.

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